Wanna Share a Twinkie?

by Kerry Clarensau

My good friend Karen Yancey recently quoted from John Ortberg's book, Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them. He cites a study on relationships that tracked 7,000 people over nine years: 

 "Researchers found that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. People who lived an unhealthy lifestyle (i.e. smoking, poor eating habits, obesity, or alcohol use) but had strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated. In other words, it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone!" 

I love that! 

Women are such relational beings that without strong connections we feel like we are dying inside-and, according to Ortberg, there may be more truth in our feelings than we know.  Because of this, our ministry to women should provide opportunities to establish and nurture life-giving relationships. Healthy ministries should provide: 

1. Large group activities (where every woman is invited and can participate easily)
2. Small groups for discipleship and fellowship (where women can connect with others in similar life stages or interests)
3. One-on-one connections (where women can receive personal encouragement and accountability) 

Many ministries offer wonderful large group activities and small groups, but opportunities for strong one-on-one connections may be missing. Women are wired for relationships and desire understanding and support. We can attend group activities and still not feel the connections we long for. 

Here are a couple of simple ideas to get your creative energy flowing for establishing healthy one-on-one connections: 

1. Offer mentoring options (peer-to-peer or mentor/mentee)
2. Establish small prayer groups (three or four women, with one being the leader)  

If you would like guidance in promoting healthy relationships in your church, the National Women's Department can help. This fall we are doing a complete renovation of www.women.ag.org. The new Web site will be titled For Every Woman-giving you resources to reach every woman in your church and community. In the online training area, one of our first leadership development units is going to be designed to help you know how to establish life-giving ministry to women. Watch for upcoming details!

KERRY CLARENSAU is a mentor, speaker, and author of Secrets: Transforming Your Life and Marriage. She has served in ministry with her husband, Mike, for over 20 years in various positions in the Kansas District and in the national office. Currently she and Mike serve as pastors at Maranatha Worship Center in Wichita, Kansas, where she teaches an adult Sunday School class and oversees ministry to women. Kerry also serves as Leadership Development Coordinator for the National Women's Department. Visit her Web site at www.kerryclarensau.com.