Reducing Holiday Stress

We are already in Thanksgiving month, with Christmas fast approaching. Now is the time to make a few plans that will make this year's holidays more enjoyable for everyone in the house. What is your idea of a perfect Thanksgiving meal and Christmas day? Perfection exists only in our imaginations, in movies or on the pages of glossy magazines. Nevertheless, many of us have adopted the faulty perception of these romanticized, glamorized, commercialized holidays.

I know that neither Thanksgiving nor Christmas will be perfect at my house this year. I'm guessing it will not be perfect at yours either. Christmas does remain a wonderful season to spend time with those we cherish and to reflect on God's Gift to a broken world. Perhaps our brokenness and imperfections lead us to the perfect Gift of love found in a humble manger. After all, if we could attain perfection, we wouldn't need a Savior.

Consider these ways to reduce holiday stress:

RELEASE unrealistic expectations and rediscover what you really love about the holidays.

Just how many different kinds of cookies and candies must we make? Does every room have to be decorated? Must we attend every holiday function? What if we did less and enjoyed what we chose to do more? Rediscover what you love about Christmas, and release the rest.

EVALUATE current resources (time, money and energy) and establish limits.

Everyone has a limited supply of time, money, and energy, all of which vary from year to year. Our schedules must be realistic and sane. Is it wise to go in debt for Christmas? What do we want to model for our children? Crazed spending and an irrational flurry of unending activities will leave us empty, exhausted, disappointed and perhaps even depressed?

ENJOY the simple things-the small, often overlooked ordinary moments.

Some of the most wonderful holiday blessings are not written on our calendars or wrapped under the tree. Many joys are found in the unexpected, unplanned moments-a phone call to a family member we haven't seen in a long time. Popping corn and playing games on the floor with the kids. A cup of coffee with a friend. If we are alert, many ordinary moments and small blessings can fill our hearts with joy.

OBSERVE and honor your own personal need for rest and renewal.

Frayed nerves and short fuses are sure signs we aren't honoring our own needs. When holidays leave us exhausted, something is wrong. You know best what you need most to renew your body and soul, so seek out small doses of healthy self-care.

INITIATE change purposefully and prayerfully.

Think through areas of possible change in advance, and ask for the input of other immediate family members. Avoid knee-jerk reactions. God reminds us in Scripture to ask Him for wisdom. Sift and sort with divine assistance.

CONSIDER your options for handling difficult people and situations; then act instead of reacting.

Christmas has a way of bringing up unresolved issues with family members. Stressed relationships don't magically disappear just because the calendar says November 26 or December 25. How will we respond to hurtful, immature or difficult people in our families? We may need to address an issue with someone before the holidays. We may need to set a boundary around a particular situation. Remember, we cannot change others but we can change ourselves and how we handle situations.

EMBRACE only meaningful traditions and eliminate burdensome customs.

Family traditions have the potential to give continuity and stability to our lives if they are indeed meaningful. Other traditions no longer important to us need to be eliminated. For many, changing holiday customs can be painful and guilt-inducing. It's okay to allow traditions to change over time. If we persist in making wise choices for our families and ourselves, our choices have the potential for healing and freedom.

You still have time to determine what type of holidays you want in 2009. For me and my house, we choose less stress and more fun, even if it means buying an already-baked turkey instead of baking it myself!