A Question Resounding in My Heart

Recently, a friend and leader walked away from her marriage and into the arms of another man. In an e-mail she shared that she has just been "going through the motions" spiritually and relationally--simply "keeping up appearances" for months. Personal pursuits have taken the top priority in her life, leading to some devastating choices.

The sobering fact is that she knows the truth. Everything I've said to encourage her to turn away from these decisions, she has said to others. She knows the only path to make things right again is the path of repentance. But the sin in her heart has blinded her from even desiring the right path. I can't express the grief I feel.

If she continues down this path, it will have a devastating ripple effect on many--her family, the other man's family, her friends, those she has witnessed to, co-workers, not to mention those she has led. Again, I can't express the grief I feel.

She knows the pain and devastation of these choices--her childhood is scarred by similar choices by her parents. So if knowledge of God's life-changing truth and pain of personal experience can't keep us from the snares of the enemy, what can? This question has resounded in my heart for days...

Here are some thoughts:

1. We might forget that we have an enemy.
   "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8, NLT).
2. When we pull away from experiencing God's presence (for whatever reason--too busy, too hurt, too content, etc.), we make it more difficult to hear His voice.
   "‘You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord" (Jeremiah 29:13,14).
3. When we aren't hearing God's voice, we open ourselves to hearing the voice of the enemy more clearly. And he is only capable of speaking lies.
   "(The devil) was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).
4. When we aren't saturated in Truth, the lies begin to sound appealing.
   "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want" (Galatians 5:16,17).
5. When we believe the lies of the enemy, we open ourselves up to sin.
   "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death" (James 1:14,15, NKJV).
6. When we sin, sin has a way of blinding us from all truth.
   "See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is call Today, so that none of your may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness" (Hebrews 3:13).
7. Sin causes us to trade those things that are genuine, eternal, and life-giving for things that are counterfeit, temporary, and destructive. In my friend's case, self-sacrificing love is being traded for self-gratifying lust.
   "Do not love the world or anything in the world... For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever" (1 John 2:15-17).

No one is exempt from these snares. Galatians 6 tells us that even when we are working to restore someone who is caught in sin, we should be careful not to fall into temptation. So what should we do? I have to believe there is a way we can say, "I have kept the faith."

I don't want to oversimplify this issue or imply that there is a "one size fits all" design for spiritual disciplines. But could it be that we can grow so familiar with spiritual disciplines we lose the depth of their value and grow complacent? We have all heard "pray, read your Bible, go to church." These are three simple but incredibly life-giving pursuits.

1. Pray
   Philip Yancey says that prayer is a way of keeping company with God. And the New Testament challenges us to pray continually. By walking every day with a constant awareness of God's presence, we are able to have an ongoing conversation with our Redeemer. This type of conversation allows His love, strength, wisdom, and truth to flow in us and through us.
2. Read Your Bible
   His Word is a light for our path! As we read and meditate on His Truth, we are able to bring every thought into His light. The enemy will have a more difficult job convincing us "wrong" is "right" if we bring every thought in to God's presence and compare it to His Word.
3. Go to Church
   Church is so much more than three songs and a sermon! The support, encouragement, and accountability we receive in a body of believers strengthens us. The writer of the book of Hebrews challenges us to not give up meeting together. Many times we desperately need the perspective and insight another believer can bring to temptations we face.

Friend, please don't forget we have an enemy. No matter how strong we think we are, no matter how much knowledge we possess, no matter how much we've experienced-we are still not smart enough to outwit him. We are completely dependent upon the Holy Spirit. I am convinced today more than ever before that only a close, honest, daily relationship with our Redeemer will keep our hearts pure. There is no substitute for His presence!

And by the way--I'm still fervently praying for my friend! I pray she will come to repentance. Where there is repentance, God can heal, redeem, and restore. Nothing is impossible with God!

KERRY CLARENSAU has served in ministry with her husband, Mike, for over 20 years. She has held a variety of ministry positions in the Kansas District and in the national office. Currently she and Mike serve as pastors of Maranatha Worship Center in Wichita, Kansas, where she teaches an adult Sunday school class and oversees ministry to women. Kerry also serves as Leadership Development Coordinator for the National Women's Department.