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One on One Connections

A three-way mirror is an excellent illustration for the angles of relationships essential in the lives of healthy, spiritually maturing women. These angles provide perspectives that nurture community while avoiding the easier route of isolation and the painful route of loneliness.  The first angle is Investing: every woman has an opportunity to pour the best of herself into a woman who is younger or less experienced. The second angle is Inspecting: every woman needs a peer who holds her accountable to the godly goals she sets and desires to achieve. The third angle is Inviting: every woman should invite someone older or wiser with more experience to speak into her life and challenge any liabilities that may be unknown to her.

Quite honestly, few women enjoy standing for long periods of time in front of a three-way mirror; however, when doing so, the mirror exposes areas that we cannot see without its assistance. We also need the aforementioned one-on-one connections in our lives to expose areas in which we need encouragement or adjustment. The adage, “love is blind—relationships are eye-opening,” is humorous but true.

If we are missing one of these relationships, the probability of debilitating issues arising in our lives increases over time. If we are not investing in someone else, we can become stagnant in our spiritual development. If we are not allowing someone to hold us accountable—giving permission to inspect our lives—we become more vulnerable to the tactics of the enemy. Furthermore, if we are not consistently inviting people to speak into our lives, we can become arrogant and full of pride.
The information in this unit focuses on strategies for effectively implementing One-on-One Connections by:

  • Investing—Coach/Mentor Relationships
  • Inspecting—Accountable Friendships
  • Inviting—Intentional Vulnerability


1.    Conversation Starters. Look for a book, or resource, of biblically-based conversation starters that you can use to help in connecting with new friends.

2.    “Building Bridges Through Mentoring,” by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson. https://www.christianitytoday.com/women-leaders/2012/august/building-bridges-through-mentoring.html, accessed May 17, 2019.

3.    “Caring Enough to Confront: 5 Tools to Help You Speak the Truth in Love,” by Karol Ladd and Terry Ann Kelly.

https://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2007/january/caring-enough-to-confront.html, accessed May 17, 2019.

4.    “The Secret to Finding and Keeping Friends: Actually It’s Not that Hard,” by Lisa-Jo Baker. https://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2017/april/secret-to-finding-and-keeping-friends.html, accessed May 17, 2019.

5.    Baker, Lisa-Jo. Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships.Nashville, TN: B&H Books, 2017.

6.    Brestin, Dee. The Friendships of Women: The Beauty and Power of God’s Plan for Us. Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2008.

About the Author

KAREN YANCEY is a mentor, life coach and speaker. She is a licensed minister with the Assemblies of God and serves the Kansas District as Network Development Director. Previously Karen served as the Kansas Women’s Ministries director for eight years. Karen finds shopping and decorating therapeutic. She is married to the love of her life, Terry, who serves as AG Kansas Network superintendent. Karen has three married children and seven wonderful grandchildren.


All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society®.

“One on One Connections” is published by National Women’s Ministries at women.ag.org, ©2020. Permission to reproduce is limited to personal use or within a teaching setting. All other forms of use are prohibited.