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My Happily Ever After

February 13, 2019 Featured


True confession: I love Hallmark movies.

On a cold winter’s night there’s nothing I like more than cozying up with a blanket to watch one of the station’s cheesy chick flicks. Yes, I know, the stories are always the same. A single woman feels a void in her life, meets the man of her dream—and boom! Everything falls into place, and they live happily ever after.

It’s a classic tale . . . but what if it isn’t the script God has written for your life? Is it still possible to experience a complete life and find fulfillment, even if you don’t meet Prince Charming? I have to admit that, as a young woman, I couldn’t imagine this being true. In Bible college, I assumed my life would follow the normal pattern of love, marriage, family, and ministry. I thought this was the exclusive path to happiness.

I wasn’t the only one. I remember late-night gab sessions with my friends talking about our futures. It wasn’t a question of whether we would marry, but who, when, where, and how our fairy-tale scenario would occur.

Only for some of us, God had a different plan.

Today, one of my friends is a missionary in Spain. Another is a pastoral counseling professor. I am living the life I always dreamed, writing and traveling to minister—only I work with my brother, not a husband.

Yet this Valentine’s Day, you will not find one of us depressed or feeling sorry for ourselves. We’re all too busy loving the happily-ever-after life God is writing for our lives. Over the years I’ve learned that true joy and fulfillment doesn’t come from meeting the right person, but instead it comes from discovering God’s unique design for my life.

If I could only say one thing to my younger self, it would be: “Don’t waste your time sulking about what you think is missing from your life. Don’t box God in and say, ‘This is the only scenario that will make my dreams come true.’ Instead, allow God to write His story for your life, and commit yourself to following His dreams for you. It might not follow the standard Hallmark movie formula—it might be even better. “

Because married or single, the key to finding fulfillment is the same: Be the woman God created you to be, and find your passion, your place, and your purpose in Him.


ADESSA HOLDEN is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God, specializing in Women's

Ministries. She's written two books: Finding Significance, and Finding Healing, and is about

to release her third, The Adventure: Discovering Your God-Given Passion, Place, and

Purpose. You can read more from her at www.adessaholden.com. This Valentine’s Day,

she'll be wearing red, eating some chocolate, and enjoying the life God has given her.