Don't Ask
Getting a Mentor and Being a Mentor

January is National Mentoring Month, and while often recognized as a time to reach the youth in our communities, the value of mentorship is true for people of all ages. Young women in our churches around the world are craving someone to glean from—to talk through spiritual struggles with, or for gaining practical family and marriage advice.

Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior” (Titus 2:3-5, MSG).

I’ve had a few mentors over the years and I can honestly say I would not be the woman I am today without them. They have graciously walked through the valleys with me, offered wise instruction, and encouraged me in my dreams. Their contribution to the Kingdom by investing into my life is significant and I’ll forever be grateful for them.

For the Young Woman

You cannot do life alone. In fact, you need other women—a sisterhood around you. They will be with you to weep when you weep and rejoice with you when you are joyful. And as valuable as friends are, we all can use more friends! That’s why a mentor is so important. An older woman can provide wisdom and insight only gleaned through a life lived that no peer can provide. Their deep spiritual wells are full of life-giving truth to overflow into your life.

Perhaps you desire a mentor, but you don’t know how to find one. It can be intimidating to ask a woman to be your mentor—that’s because you shouldn’t. Wait, you shouldn’t? You may be thinking, But I thought you just said to get a mentor! I mean it, don’t ask. Simply connect with a woman you admire through volunteering at your church, joining a small group of older women, or asking a woman leader in the church to go to coffee with you. Begin to develop a relationship organically, ask them questions about their experiences and tell them what you’re struggling with. A mentorship will begin to develop without you officially asking. Requesting someone to be your mentor can create a forced relationship and intimidate a possible mentor from authentically engaging in your life. Creating a relationship opens the doors to genuine mentorship. So get involved, meet women who are doing what you admire and ask them questions!

John Maxwell said, “One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination.”

For the More Seasoned Woman

The Bible makes it clear that the older women are to guide the younger women. I get it—life gets busy and responsibilities pile up, but don’t miss this incredible opportunity to pour into a younger woman.

Don’t you remember life in your twenties and thirties and some of the challenges you navigated as a wife, mom, friend, employee, and believer? If you had someone to guide you, you are most likely so thankful for that person. If not, you probably wish you could have had someone to go to.

God has given you experience and insight so incredibly valuable to young women. You may feel intimidated to know more, but God isn’t asking you to have all the answers. He’s simply asking you to make yourself available and pour into a younger woman.

Author Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth shared, “It’s time to show those coming behind us the beauty of God’s truth and its sufficiency for the challenges of our day. I assure you, each time you’re obedient to this calling, you’ll be able to watch Him paint your life with bigger and bolder gospel colors than you ever imagined possible.”

Will you take on this call?