Making Time for Friendship

You keep busy chauffeuring your children to countless activities, pursuing your career goals, volunteering at church, feeding your family, taking on endless home improvement projects and somehow finding time to be with your husband once in a while. But in the midst of all this activity, there’s a good chance you’ve let one important part of your life fall by the wayside: your friendships. Before you know it, your friends stop calling and you long for the female companionship you took for granted in your less-busy days. 

Friendships play an important role in a woman’s life. Sometimes you need a girlfriend to confide in or cry and laugh with. Friends pray for you, encourage you and keep you accountable. But unless you make friendships a priority, neglect will cause them to weaken or even die. Here are some tips for keeping your friendships—and yourself—healthy. 

Make time for each other. Chances are, your friends are just as busy as you are. But the only way a friendship will thrive is if you both carve out time to spend together. Drag out that overflowing calendar and find a day once a week or once a month to spend time together. If you can’t find any free time, combine your activities. You could go grocery shopping together or join the same Bible study group. You get to hang out together and check another item off your to-do list at the same time.

Be honest. Nothing harms a friendship more than dishonesty. True honesty goes far beyond avoiding blatant offenses like lying or deceiving each other. If you can't tell your friend when she's being too grouchy, buying a dress that doesn’t look that great or has pepper in her teeth, you'll never feel completely comfortable with each other. Remember, honesty should go hand-in-hand with kindness. Don't make fun of your friend, but gently tell her the things you'd want someone to tell you if the situation were reversed.

Encourage each other. There’s something extra-special about a compliment when it comes from someone you truly like and respect. A kind word from a friend brightens the cloudiest day and puts a smile on the grumpiest face. Look for ways to lift up your friend. Go ahead and admire her new shoes—but look a little deeper, too. Praise your friend’s parenting skills, spiritual growth or positive attitude. Chances are, she’ll turn the tables and begin pointing out the good things she appreciates in you.

Be available. If you’re available to your friend in her hard times—when her car breaks down, her mother is diagnosed with cancer or her husband leaves—she’ll know you’re a genuine friend. If she’s feeling down and gives you a call, take time right then to pray with her or even go to her house for a bear hug and a long talk. Remember to value the most important things in life. Your manicure can wait, but your friend needs you now.

Do little things that make her feel special. Think of some simple, inexpensive ways you can let your friend know you’re thinking of her. Here are a few ideas:

• Cut a bouquet for her from your garden.
• When you find an interesting book on the bargain table at your bookstore, pick up an extra copy for her.
• Send her a card on the anniversary of a difficult day, like a miscarriage or the death of a parent.
• Buy her a milkshake on your way home from work and drop it off at her house.
• Call her when a good TV movie is about to begin.
• Leave a potted plant at her front door.

Most important, pray for her. When you pray for someone, three things happen. First, she knows you care about her. Second, you feel much closer to her because of the thought and concern that goes into constructing a prayer. And third, God answers your prayer. Don’t just pray for her when she can hear you, but remember her in your private prayer time. Give her concerns and hurts to the One who can actually fix the problem.

Nurturing your friendships takes a little time and creativity, but the results are well worth the efforts.